Making Modern Myths

Heartbreak

22 May 2013

I wanted to believe with all my heart. I wanted to believe it in the light as much as I believed it by the night, by the blur, by the electricity that was there.

For a long time, I was living by the credo “Don’t get your hopes up.”

But what kind of life does that let you have?

This weekend, I decided that I want to live in a world where I let my hopes soar high, where I pour trust and love into friends and strangers, where I dare quietly and greatly, where I am soft and vulnerable.

Because even if circumstances don’t turn out as I hope they will, even if I don’t get what I desire, there will still be something exquisite in that heartbreak — something that shines, something I may not have expected but will fall in love with even more.

{photo by Oscar E., used under Creative Commons license}

Binary Star Systems

08 April 2013

In some worlds, there are two sunsets.

What stories might have been told by people watching one sun chase another in the sky? What myths would be born to explain the daily pursuit?

A hunter stalks his prey. A lover is pursued by her love.

We are binary stars.

We find ourselves circling what we want, who we want, the life we want. We can feel the gravity, the pull, the lure.

This is the dance: exquisite, perfect, epic.

Everything teaches us: the want in gravity, the thought in separation, the desire in movement.

It is the beginning of every great love story.

And while we seek to close the distance, learn first to fully embrace the moment and the dance.

(Soon two stars collide.)

My heart has been pulling me toward unexpected places lately. What are you being pulled toward?

{image from NASA JPL}

Mind-Body Balance

21 March 2013

This was my weekend in Louisville. It can be summed in a single photo, even though the weekend was a collection of much more intimate moments, conversations with loved ones, discoveries of places and tastes.

My entire life I have been successful because I have developed a sophisticated, strong mind. It puzzle solves, it calculates, it over-analyzes.

But in archery, it fails.

While part of archery is about knowing what you’re doing, archery must be felt. There are days where my intuition kicks in and I find myself in this place of flow. I become the shot, from start to finish. It is like smoothly brushing paint across a canvas.

On other days, my mind takes over. It panics, it frets — and as a result, what I shoot is not reflective of the archer I know I truly am.

People tell me to get out of my mind, but no one tells me how to do it. There’s no mathematical formula to follow or proven method of success, nothing for my mind to latch onto and follow. So this is the challenge I’m faced with: to discover what full embodiment is, to learn how to find serenity and be in it.

It’s strange — I never expected to find the keys I needed to unlock my whole potential in archery. But now that I’m here, it makes sense.

And balancing the mind and body? It’s the lesson I need most right now. In so many ways.

The Case of the Missing Blogger

12 March 2013

Writing nourishes me in a way few other things in life do. It’s my connection to the Source, my opening to the Universe. When I put pen to paper or fingers to computer keys, it’s like a wave crashing: easy, effortless, natural.

Except when it isn’t.

There are times when the words don’t flow, where I can’t find the space I need to create, where my life in general seems so wildly tense and out of control that I need to rely on to-do lists and chocolate to make it through.

Such madness has been the last two weeks.

I’m not ready to make any public announcements yet, but spring is bringing some big changes with it besides flowering trees and warmer winds. I’m wildly excited.

Thoroughly exhausted too.

Making preparations for new adventures has been overwhelming, and along the way, I’ve lost the balance I need in my life. So, besides adding new clients to my calendar, I’m also adding in some quality “me” time, to feed myself, to relax, to pull myself out of the whirlpool that I’ve been in.

And somewhere in there, I’ll find myself again, as a blogger, as a creative, as a Zen master-in-training (or at least as someone who breathes more and balances better).

P.S. Promise to have more news for you soon. Some of you may already know what it is…

Alive

28 February 2013

There is the seat in the dark corner of the cafe. Smoke billows from somewhere. A mandolin player lightly strokes the strings of the wooden instrument in his hands, absentmindedly, the way an artist doodles or a writer collects those small snippets of words in a black leather journal.

Here, the colors are brighter, the days seem longer, the light slips and slides around corners, lighting up the dust in its intricate dance. You can feel it all. Every heart breaking, every spark of joy and laughter, every longing, every desire. They seem to all get caught in the wind and spiral in the front door.

This is vibrantly alive. This place where Creativity is muse and goddess, where Art is worshipped. And it’s not just the writers or photographers or musicians that are enraptured: every man, woman and child lives their lives as if they were painters creating a masterpiece. Materials are chosen carefully, lines and textures are taken into consideration, colors are blended and colors stand alone.

In the end, you can’t help but see how the soul has spilled onto the canvas.

{photograph by Allan Rostron}

Letting Go to Let it In

26 February 2013

Sometimes, we hold on to things tightly because we’re afraid of what will happen if we let go.

Relationships, jobs, routines.

We grasp them tightly. They’re familiar, comforting.

But what happens when we know they’re not working anymore? What do we do when we know they’re not right?

It’s easy to continue our existence tethered to these things. But the adventure comes when we release them, when we open ourselves to new experiences and opportunities.

And that’s precisely where I’m at: knowing I have to let go, terrified of falling and failing, but willing to risk everything because my dreams are worth it.

What have you had to let go of in the past to get to where you are now? What do you need to release right now?

{photograph by Greg Westfall, used under Creative Commons attribution license}

Facing Fears

12 February 2013

I don’t know how to talk to strangers. To the people who know me, I’m friendly and warm and chatty. But around strangers, the super-shy science geek side of my personality makes an appearance. She’s the one who mumbles, can’t quite look people in the eyes, becomes a bit flustered (especially around handsome guys).

But she’s learning.

Last Monday, I walked up to a guy I’d seen around a bunch but had never spoken with, and I introduced myself formally, admitting that I’m often shy and awkward around new people. And you know what? Everything turned out wonderfully. We chatted about our jobs a bit, connected over a mutual interest, and laughed some.

I don’t know what’s been holding me back for so long…

On Being Humble

06 February 2013

Somewhere in the past, I discovered humility and put it on the shelf of virtues I wanted to possess. I chased it, searched for it, was willing to do whatever I must to possess it.

But I never properly understood it.

I thought to be humble was to believe you were not better than anyone else. And in some ways, it is precisely that: to see everyone as equals. Perhaps we have different talents and strengths, but we all possess that infinite potential of being.

My humble was something else: I believed that to possess this virtue, I had to put myself down. When people complimented me, I brushed those compliments off, afraid the confidence they might inspire would diminish the humility I’d worked to create.

I had it all wrong.

It was only recently that I saw humility for what it is: the willingness to give of oneself, one’s knowledge, one’s wisdom. Humility allows you to be confident, to believe in yourself, to accept compliments graciously. Humility is passing what you know onto the next generation in hopes they will shine more brightly than you.

I’ve stopped criticizing myself. I’ve stopped telling myself that I’m not enough. And I’m rediscovering my confidence. Because more than anything else, I want to help people shine like supernovas.

How do you understand humility? And what virtues have you chased?

Purpose

31 January 2013

What if your purpose in life wasn’t to DO anything? What if it was just to BE? To be exactly who you are. To make mistakes. To love. To laugh. To challenge the status quo. To create a family. To pursue your passions. To be present in every moment. To be thankful. To indulge. To drink with all your senses. To dance. To sing. To be unapologetic and own your beauty.

What if the only thing you need to do to fulfill your purpose in life is be who you authentically are?

What would that mean for you?

{photograph by Sodanie Chea, used under Creative Commons license}

Love

29 January 2013

vdaycards

Love isn’t well suited to clear categories.

It is messy and ill defined.

Its edges move and swell as it grows. And when you are open to it, it makes itself confusingly abundant in your life.

I once tried to apply logic to my heart, sorting the thoughts and feelings into a well-formed argument, something that would be irrefutable and obvious. But love doesn’t take logic well, and all I found was that as I tried to dissect it further, understanding it escaped me even more.

I have fallen in love with friends and lovers, with philosophers and archers and musicians, with people who recognize the power and magic in this world.

And I have fallen in love with the world itself. Its cities and mountains and ruins and rivers. Its woods and deserts and oceans vast enough to understand what lies beneath my surface.

Over and over again. So fiercely have I loved its beauty that not drinking every moment hurts.

All I know is my love it is deep and true and unshakeable. And that I need nothing in return.

True love never lives in silence but pour forth into the world.

Brandi Bernoskie